sheri carlstrom...slices of an ordinary life

Love is Patient...

Patience is not my virtue. Fortunately for me, I believe my husband was marinated in it the nine months he grew within his mother. I cannot  figure out how else it comes so naturally to him. Tangled necklace? He gently and tediously untangles it. Not ready on time? He casually comes and hangs out in the bedroom or bathroom counter. Cupboards left open, toothpaste cap left off? He will close and cap without a word. Kids who don't understand math, no problem, he will explain it a different way.

I remember when we were living in our first house, while he was at work one day, I decided I really wanted to paint a boarder around the little bathroom in the basement. I was so excited, I bought the paint (there would be deep red and dark green stripe around the middle of of the room) and wanted it done that day...so I did it myself.

I have seen Kevin paint...he washes walls, primes, tapes and measures if necessary, (painting horizontal stripes should have required measuring and taping) he even puts down drop clothes. I had no time for any of this, I just wanted stripes. So I eyeballed the wall, penciled in some stripes and painted. As I stood back to admire my quick handiwork I couldn't believe how crooked my lines were! (Not sure what is more surprising here, that the lines were crooked, or that this surprised me!)

When Kevin came home I was both excited and nervous to show him the bathroom. I don't remember his words, but I remember feeling like it was OK. He displayed patience in the moment, and patience in the long run as he never repainted the walls.

Several years ago Zach wanted his room painted...all stripes. I watched as he patiently measured, marked, taped and painted these walls. Then last year the girls wanted their room repainted. They share a room and each designed what they wanted on their side. Stripes on one, polka dots on the other. Again he patiently measured, marked, taped and painted these walls. He even created the template for the polka dots. This project took some  t i m e.  This past weekend he did it again, Kyler finally got his room painted...what did he want? Stripes.

 

 

 

 

 

For someone like me to be married to someone like him is one of the great life mysteries. Or it is one of God's greatest blessings....for me.
Love is patient. I am loved.
Thank you Kevin. Thank you God, Amen.

This Week

It is the first day of the week in which Courtney leaves for college. I cannot hardly take it in as my eyes see those boxes on the calendar. On the 7th day, we will be in the car with so much stuff and her; both excitement and dread in my heart.

I cry each year during that first week of school. Silly really. But I don't seem to have a lot of control over it. It began when Zach started middle school. I went to one of the windows to see them at the bus stop and there they were standing together, talking and laughing. I suddenly saw a flash of them as a four and two year old in a cardboard box from the new refrigerator. They had made the box a car with their crayons and were taking a trip to grandma's. It was packed with stuffed animals and them...laughing and playing together all morning as they created the car and all afternoon as they traveled! I think the tears began because I suddenly realized how fast time was going, how much wider their circles were getting, how some some of their adventures were going to take them out of my living room.

I know she will be back, I know many good and wonderful things are ahead, I am grateful she will be within a few hours. But this week my baby is moving to college and to be honest, none of this feels ordinary just yet.

Another Ordinary Day...But Set Apart

It was an ordinary day...a Wednesday even, middle of the week, nothing really special at all, in fact I had picked up football carpool and run the youngest to day camp that morning. But it happened to be the day we marked twenty years of marriage. I'm not very big on Valentine's Day or anniversary celebrations, which tends to make things like this easy on my husband.

We did speak months ago about this particular anniversary though, and we acknowledged that it was falling in a very busy and memory making summer. We saw a graduation, a graduation party, lots of out of town family at our home, a 20th Anniversary, 5 summer camps, and a 50th birthday all in the span of about 6 weeks! So although we made some vague plans of a trip to San Francisco, we knew it would not happen on that Wednesday.

With four kids, and it being the middle of an already full week, it would have been easy to just grab some dinner out, exchange a card and come home knowing that later we would mark this milestone. Honestly, this would have been enough for me.

But Kevin made reservations at a very nice restaurant, my girls helped me decide which dress to wear, I wore some borrowed high heel shoes, and off we went. As we drove in his new (used) sports car, I felt a little transformed from "mom" to "date". 

We were greeted with "Happy Anniversary" by the hostess and waiter, and I felt set apart. As we lingered over appetizers, wine, dinner and even dessert, I felt in love. As  I read the letter my husband wrote to me, I felt loved. I wandered in my thoughts back to the beginning our life together as we stood together...apart from, but with family and friends, to say that we were doing this thing called life as one. 

We will get to San Francisco - hopefully this winter, when our daughter is settled in college and football  season is over for our son...although basketball season will be in full swing for our baby girl. I guess there will always be something scheduled in the boxes on the calendar - maybe not big stuff like graduations and milestone birthdays and anniversaries, just ordinary life stuff. But as we took time out for "us" last week, I was reminded that carving time out, and being intentional about nurturing us as a couple is what will grant us these ordinary days we so enjoy. It was a reminder that I needed. Happy Anniversary to the love of my life.

Oh yeah...our kids remembered we were husband and wife as well as mom and dad, and in addition to the roses, this is what we came home to on that Wednesday...  

Share with Others

And do not forget to do good and to share with others,
for with such sacrifices God is pleased. 
Hebrews 13:16

This verse is inspiring to me. It doesn't say what we should share, just that we should share.

This week my youngest daughter Erin had ten inches cut off of her hair so she could share her hair with others through Locks of Love. For some reason she is very aware that there are kids who have no hair due to cancer treatments. So when she was very little she decided she would share her hair. She grew it for a few years and at the end of 3rd grade, she had twelve inches cut off. The very next day she announced she would grow it again, and share it once more.

It wasn't always convenient. Those last few inches were hard, when her sister and some friends were getting cute new haircuts this summer, she did not. She was getting tired of the effort it took to keep it maintained. But she stayed true to her desire to share. I believe God, as well as the child who receives her hair, is and will be pleased with her sacrifice. 

Erin inspires me to be creative in how and what I share. Sometimes I share our dinner with the widower across the street, last weekend we shared our home with some children from Uganda. I really don't think it matters what we share, we just need to remember to share. How about you, how or what will you share this week? If you have shared in a creative way...inspire with us what you did!

Hope and a Future

My heart has been stirred by some children I have yet to meet, yet the weight of their suffering is within me. We will welcome some of them into our home in just few days, for just a few days; they are children from the Hope for Africa Children's Choir. I work on communications for my church and as I prepared media for this upcoming concert, I was both heartbroken and hopeful.

Uganda has seen civil war for over 20 years and as a result there are all these children who have no parents. Some of these children have lived their whole lives in camps for those driven or fleeing from their homes. Some of these children's parents have been brutally murdered; some have witnessed this. Many have lost parents to disease. All of them depend on someone other than a parent to provide for them.

As a foster parent, I am aware of the many children in our own country that need a place to live to be safe. I am sometimes left breathless by the abuse and neglect some parents inflict. I can guarantee you this, you will never be left to provide for my children because I have abused or neglected them. But...what if I lived in a country where war was the norm, where disease was rampant, where my husband was killed, and I was about to die of AIDS. Then...well...I guess I could not issue that guarantee. What then? 

Well, I believe the children need to be absorbed into us. We have to go to them. We have to step up. If I am the mother in the above situation, I want to know that I can trust someone will wrap their arms around my child, take her in, provide for him, give them a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) When it appears all has failed, and it is dark, I have to believe there is a plan. I suspect we are that plan.

Join me Sunday at 4:00 at Sonrise Church to experience
the Hope for Africa's Children's Choir.

If nothing else, come and praise God for all He has done and is doing for the twenty-two children, ages seven to eleven, who will grace our stage this Sunday.

In six days he will have been here one year...this time. He was here for 14 months in 2006 through 2007. He disappeared from us for 16 months and was returned August 18, 2008. We knew when he returned this time he was ours and we needed to make it permanent.

Today we received word that we have an adoption hearing in October. The news came in an unexpected email from our lawyer this afternoon.

The twelve months have been long, and they have flown by. They have been difficult, and they have been filled with joy and awe. I have felt him move, not within me, but surely within my heart.

I liken the last year to being pregnant for 12 months and then suddenly having a contraction that tells you something is happening. It could be false labor, we are still waiting on two documents, but it could also be the real deal. We will wait and see.

One thing I do believe is that our little wild olive shoot has already been grafted in and now shares in the nourishing sap from the root, Jesus Christ. (Romans 11:17) We will wait patiently for the court system to catch up with what has already happened.

A New Direction

My sister, Tracey, has lived next door to neighbors that have caused much distress over the past several years. About a year ago, the people that lived there quit paying on their mortgage, moved out of state and invited their son and his friends to live there until the bank foreclosed. (The son is involved in much criminal activity, the latest being dog-fighting.)

In June, during my niece's graduation party, the neighbors had the dogs outside and started a fight. In fact, with my own eyes I saw one of the guys hold down the weakest dog to allow another dog to viciously attack it. It was horrendous. The police were called, my brother (a police lieutenant in another city) at one point jumped the fence, many people at the party were upset.

The neighbor threatened my sister's husband, saying that because the police were called, it would be a long summer. The situation had reached the worst point ever. Going on vacation the next week, my brother-in-law installed cameras outside his home.

After she got back from vacation she heard that the son was in jail, and that the house had sold. (!!??)

She made small but consistent efforts to talk to the people remaining in the house, and one day asked if they were taking the dogs when they left the house. (Tracey is an animal lover, in fact at one point she fostered animals in her home for her local animal shelter.) They weren't sure what they would do with the dogs so Tracey asked if she could please find a rescue center to take them.

After some encouragement, they finally agreed. After many hours on the phone (many shelters are full) she found one an hour away that would take all three dogs. When taking the dogs became a reality, the people next door weren't sure they wanted to release them. Tracey offered to take photographs of the dogs (she is a photographer) to give them. They finally agreed to release the dogs to her.

Here is an update I received this week from her:

Hello all,

I thought I would give you all an update on our neighbors dogs.  Most of you know that the week after we got home from our South Carolina vacation I was able to rescue all three of the dogs and bring them to a dog rescue in Milaca MN.  Driving them there was one of the most rewarding hour car rides I have ever made.  It was only God that made that rescue happen.  He is the only one that could have lined everything up for this to happen.   As I am sure most of you that were still at Emily's graduation party when the one neighbor held one dog down so the other could attack it never would have believed that a few weeks later I would be bringing them to a safe place. 

Romans 15:17  So I have reason to be enthusiastic about all Christ Jesus has done through me in my service to God.

After I dropped the dogs off and was heading back home there was a huge bill board along the side of the road that said, "God Loves You".  Just his way of letting me know that no matter what happens this was his plan and his way of thanking me for following through on all the little nudging he had been doing.  Sometimes it's a lot easier to not pay attention to the little things or hope that someone else will take care of things.  But then you miss out on God's message for you.

I found out this weekend that both Roscoe (black lab) and Soldier (pit bull) have died.  Roscoe was visibly sick and so thin you could see every one of his ribs and pelvis and his back was humped up because of his neglect.  Soldier a 10 month old puppy had been so mistreated by them that he had no trust in humans.  Didn't matter if it was an adult, child male or female he was frightened and was aggressive towards them. 

Before I brought them up there he would attack the fence and try to bite us, however for a few weeks I had been feeding them every time I came outside and that last week before I brought them up to the rescue all three of the dogs would run up to the corner of the fence and sit at attention and wait for me to come and bring them a treat.  As I drove them up there Soldier stood with his feet on the console between the 2 front seats and licked my face and then without warning jumped into my lap and curled my and laid his head on the door.  So thankful to be out of that hell hole.  At one time Roscoe was standing right behind me on the folded down seats and I looked into my rear-view mirror and he was staring right at me.  I felt his stare go right to the depth of my soul.  I just kept scratching his ear and telling him what a good boy he was - I will never forget the look of great fullness in his eyes.

I will never be able to understand how anyone could mistreat another living creature they way our neighbors treated these dogs.  I just wish I had been able to help them sooner. 

Jeremiah 16: I will pronounce judgment on my people for all their evil — for deserting me and burning incense to other gods.  Yes, they worship idols made with their own hands! I can keep my anger for them at bay knowing that one day they will answer to him and God will pass the judgment that HE sees fit. 

The other thing that brings me peace is knowing that the last few weeks both Roscoe and Soldier have had the time of their lives.  Soldier may have been afraid and aggressive towards the people taking care of him, but he loved playing with ALL of the dogs.  All three of the dogs loved running around and playing with all of the dogs.  I also guess they also loved the mud!!!  Roscoe and Monty loved all of the people too.  All three of the dogs were diagnosed with Parvo and Lyme's disease.  Monty has responded well to the treatment and is doing well and he was neutered on Thursday.  He now has the chance to find his forever family where he will be lavished with love and attention and treated they way he deserves to be treated.

God is Good!  If anyone knows someone that would like a beautiful black lab, I know where you can find one :-)

I have attached pictures of all three of the dogs so all of you could see who these dogs are.  You never know the face that God is asking you to help.  Maybe some of you have felt a nudging to do something, to help someone.  Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal - I never would have thought that buying dog bones and feeding those three dogs every chance I could would have led to what it did, but God did! - Love, Tracey

So what is the point of sharing this story here? A few things:

• God can always turn things around...on a dime...especially when it looks as if a situation has reached the worst point possible. Just check out the story of Esther, the Jews were about to be annihilated. Ester could have lost her life by going to King Xerxes. The man who ordered the destruction of the people was the King's right hand man! I mean that situation was headed in an unbelievable horrific place...then God spun it on a dime. Read it yourself.

• God can use the smallest acts to display grace and love. Dog bones through the fence allowed the pit bull to trust Tracey.
  

• It is rewarding to serve others - especially those who cannot help themselves.

• If God cares enough to rescue these dogs, trust me, he cares enough to rescue you.

• Sometimes God does give you a billboard.

• My sister is my hero yet again. Wanted you all to know about her.

Perspective

An ongoing frustration of mine: the way my 17 year old daughter uses her bedroom floor as a closet, kitchen and file cabinet. It's kind of an all in one "pile" she's got going on. A few years ago I put some real effort into getting over it. There are some things to just let go of, and I know this is one of them; so for the most part I don't say a whole lot. But that doesn't mean it doesn't drive me crazy.

Every once in awhile I do request, (or demand - depends on who you ask), that she clean it all up. Then usually once a year, while she is gone at camp, I gift her with a clean room. She loves this. This year as I thought about her room and possibly getting in there to shovel, I realized next year when she leaves for college it will be clean...all the time. Strangely, this thought did not bring me any satisfaction...at all.

The messy, messy pile(s) means she is here. How much will I enjoy the clean room when she is not?

So I believe I have finally made peace with the mess. In fact, she got home last night after a week of camp counseling, dumped stuff on the floor and then repacked to head to yet another camp today. It was with drama and humor that I climbed over an unusually large pile last night to say good night, I hugged her tightly and then walked out of her room without seeing the mess. It no longer mattered.

Perspective, glad I got it before she left. (To honor her I decided not to post a picture of the mess)