sheri carlstrom...slices of an ordinary life

Courage

Erin, my 10 year old, came home from the school Talent Show dress rehearsal in tears.  She chose to sing for her act but something happened with her music. She started at the wrong spot and she couldn't seem to get it right. She ended up standing silently at the microphone until the chorus but then was able to get caught up. The Dessert Theater Talent Show for the parents was the next night and she was terrified that this could happen again.

I told her how sorry I was and reminded her that that was why they did dress rehearsals, it really wasn't likely to happen again.  Her dad custom made that CD, she had been practicing with it and we knew the CD was fine. I told her I would even talk to the woman in charge of the music if that would make her feel better. 

The next night when she took the stage, she was smiling and comfortable. The music started, but it was playing so quietly that she couldn't hear it. She looked a little wide-eyed, started singing but knew immediately it wasn't right, she tried again, not right. Her face fell and tears filled her eyes. Her head dropped and we heard her whisper with a very shaky voice, "oh, man".

The room is perfectly silent and it seems as if we all are willing her on, but she stands in silence and I am sure she will leave the stage in tears. Then, she hears the chourus and she starts singing, every word right where it belongs.  I start to breathe again and now tears fill my eyes.  She sings with great confidence, and she is doing all of the moves she has practiced over and over.  I am amazed. I am proud. I am teary.

I would have been so happy for Erin and proud of her had she had a flawless performance, but the fact that she overcame what could have easily sent her off the stage, well, that made me all the more proud.

It took courage to decided to perform in front of all those people.  But it took perseverence, courage, and strength to overcome the botched beginning and give such a great performance. 

I hope the next time I am in a place where I can't hear the music, the words coming out of my mouth are all wrong, I feel a lump forming and tears filling my eyes, I will have the courage she did...and perservere until I hear the chorus.

(She sang Only the World by Mandisa, and as I listen again the words, I realize it was a perfect song for her last night.  Listen here.)

Sispiration Update

While my sister felt overwhelmed at the prospect of waiting two to three months for the recovery from Bell's Palsy, she kept leaning into God.  The great news is it didn't take long to at least get on the road to recovery.  As you can see, the paralysis has begun to break.  (see previous picture below)

She still continues to have resistance when trying to close her eye, and with no feeling inside her mouth, she is biting the inside of her cheek. Think Novocain that just won't wear off! Unfortunately the return of feeling also has brought pain in her face and pressure in her ear and neck.  But she is thankful to be this far this quickly and is most thankful for the ability to form her own words easily again.   

Thank you for everyone who prayed for her.  She concluded her last email with this, "I am blessed."

I am too, and I need to be more thankful and appreciative for the very natural ability to blink my eyes, say hello, and spit out my toothpaste.  Thanks Tracey for your example of being God dependent in a time of trial.  God is faithful and good...all the time.

New Testament Journey Continues...Romans

Many of us use "Hi" and "How are you?" as almost interchangeable.  The most expected replies are "Hi"  and "I'm fine".  Notice the period. (There is probably a whole different article in that!) I'm not dogging greeting each other, I'm just saying sometimes we hear something so often that it loses it meaning.

There are twenty-seven books in the New Testament and twelve of them begin with a version of Grace and peace to you from God our Father.  Some add and from the Lord Jesus Christ and three add mercy to the greeting.  I have read the books of the New Testament many times and to be honest, this greeting is almost something I sometimes skim over. I have found myself viewing it as simply a nice way to begin a letter.

But every once in awhile that greeting really stirs my heart.  Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.  Add mercy and my heart really gets stirred. 

So began my reading last week.  I stopped and basked in that for awhile.  I read those words and paused to receive and reflect on the Creator of the Universe wanting, actually desiring to bestow grace and peace on me.

That really is something, because I also really relate to Romans 8:24. Start before that and you will find there are a lot of do do's in Romans 7:14-20.  Seriously, try and read that out loud. 

The point is, I was impacted by Romans 7:14-20 as well.  I just relate to that.  There are many things I want to do but do not do; and too much doing what I ought not to do.  When its all sorted out it comes down to Romans 7:21.  When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  This explains a lot. 

What I will take from Romans 1-8 this time through is this:  Even as I am frustrated by all my do's and do not do's, I am indeed soaking in grace and peace, and thankfully mercy as well.  And I am grateful for Romans 8:1-4. 

Inspiration in my sisters

My sister called me Monday to tell me that over the weekend half of her face became paralyzed. She went to the hospital and was told she had Bell's palsy. The MRI a few days later was consistent with this diagnosis. As we were talking she mentioned she had a training to do at work that day and it was going to be hard to do; besides the face issue, she had a headache. 

I'm thinking, Work? Training?  Are you kidding me?!  I would be at home, probably crying, searching the internet and insisting on the MRI being done right now. She is stronger than I. Talking to her later in the day, she said the training had gone well, she told everyone up front what was going on so they could focus on what she had to say and not what she looked like saying it. But now she was exhausted and was looking forward to getting home and resting.

I called my other sister to let her in on what was going on, though far away, we could each support and encourage her. We couldn't bring a meal to ease the evening, but we could have take-out delivered at dinner time. When she heard what was going on she too couldn't believe our sister had gone to work. She admitted she probably would not have left the house for at least a week; vanity may have held her captive. After she had talked to Tracey herself, she felt so inspired and humbled by Tracey that she went into the bathroom at her office and took off all her make-up. Vanity be gone!  (She even left for Boston for several days of meetings and said she didn't pack make-up!) If her sister could do what she had done, she could stand with her and face the world with, well...a slightly different face.

She sent a text message to Tracey telling her of her solidarity stand.  Tracey texted back and told her to tape one eye open and one side of her mouth down, then she would really be standing with her! 

So, I am inspired by both my sisters.  I'm still wearing make-up but I did send a pizza dinner the other night. I pray that this paralysis reconciles itself sooner rather than later. I read an email from Tracey the other night, in it she said, "I am praying for a quick recovery and in the meantime I am looking for the lessons God has to teach me - it must be something good!!". (Romans 8:28) And I am inspired once again.

    

Summer!!....Schedule?

The other day a friend and I were on the phone trying to plan a short summer visit.  I always look forward to these summer visits and eagerly grabbed the calendar.  As we looked at June, then July and even August, we were stunned to find so little time available.  Between our two families, softball, basketball camps, church camps, drivers ed, family vacations, band camp, and on and on...well, we ended up promising each other we would figure it out. 

I knew our summer calendar was a little heavy because just a few days earlier I had been looking at it trying to find a 10 day stretch to get back to our home state to visit family.  I couldn't find one that didnt butt right up against a beginning or end of camp.  This was my first indication we had too much scheduled.  (I would wonder how this happened, but it was my writing on the calendar and I was the one who wrote all those deposit checks.)

Basketball camp will be awesome for my daughter, she goes with her best friend and they will build lifelong memories and she will gain some great skills. Church camps can be challenging and life changing and sports are great for all they teach, but the truth is I am already wondering what happened to summer; and its only April. 

I'm craving some l o n g  lazy, stretches in front of us.  I'm considering if I need to be concerned that my elementary child won't play high school ball because I didn't committ to the next level right now.  I'm wondering how to simplify and be more discriminating and intentional with the days of next summer.   

Time flies when you're having fun, and we will have a blast this summer!  I'm just feeling a little thoughtful about these days that slip away so quickly and trying to slow down...because this is our life in progress.   

Continuing through the New Testament

I finished Acts this past week, what a great book!  I loved that I found it hard to put down at times.
Here are a few of the things that stood out to me this time through. 

• 15:36-41; major disagreement , but each continued the work of God.
• 17:16; When God is waiting for me, what idols does he see that cause him to be distressed? (I listed the obvious ones, but I'm sure he sees more)
• 17:22; Paul leads with a compliment - smart.
• 20:24; A question to ponder...What task has the Lord Jesus given me?
• 20:28; Do I have a flock beyond my children?  (A certain little boy came to my mind)
• 23:1; Oh to be confident in saying this!
• 24:15-16; Since I have this hope as well, may I always remember this and strive to keep my conscience clear before God and all people!

I am so thankful for Jesus as I read through the Word. His grace covers me and all my failings. There is much to learn and lean on in this love and I hope to keep growing up.   

Spring Break...

Our family is heading to Sandusky, Ohio (Spring Break capitol) to visit the nations new largest indoor waterpark, the Kalahari.  We couldn't quite make it to the ocean this year, but we were determined to find warmth and water!  I'll be back later this week with a new post.  Happy Spring Break!! (Sorry to hear about all the snow today in Minnesota!)