sheri carlstrom...slices of an ordinary life

What's Next?

This blog is my baby. This is where I started sharing the ordinary days of this life we lead. Since March 2008 I have been recording slices of our story with the hope that something I have experienced will give new perspective, inspire or even amuse.

Then in May of 2010 I launched what I thought would be a one year blog (Mother of the WHAT?!) after being named National Young Mother of the Year by American Mothers, Inc. I have posted here and I have posted there this past year. The purpose of that blog was to share authentically my one year journey with this title (yes, its just a title, no crown,  no sash, no magic wand).

This journey through motherhood is awesome and its quite difficult. This particular "Young Mother of the Year" isn't perfect, doesn't always have it together, and is still learning. (which really describes all of us doesn't it?) So why not share that, thus keeping everyones expectations of me within a resonable range for the year.

What has happened in the past year is that a lot of readers have found me over there...and now I have been invited to be a featured blogger here. When I write for that website, it will become their content, so I am going to keep maintaining my own blog presence with Mother of the WHAT?! Which means its time to consider not writing here anymore....

This is probably not a big deal to you, you probably don't even care...maybe you read my other blog, maybe you don't...but as I consider consolidating my writing efforts, this original blog is tugging at my strings....I guess that's all I'm saying.

I like the Typepad format for writing, Blogspot is OK, I'm actually considering moving to WordPress. So much to think about....

A Few Lines on Getting Older

I'm 46, and I'm just gonna say it ~ I'm not a fan of the aging process. What I'm about to describe may sound superficial and vain. I'm OK with that, one of the benefits of being "mature" is caring a little less about what others think, at least about certain things.

• I hate the little lines around my lips. I'm not really happy about any of the lines on my face but the ones here especially bug me. I would trade these for cellulite someplace else. S0 yes, I hate them a lot.
• I am very conscious of what appears to be a problem remembering names and various other details. Yikes. This one actually scares me a little.
• My knees are beginning to hurt sometimes. Especially when I do lunges (which I hate) and squats (which I need to continue doing).
• Wearing reading glasses is not fun. Needing them to even set the temperature on the oven is actually distressing.
• Losing these last extra pounds seems harder than ever.
• I am sure there are a few more things, but I cant remember what they are right now.

A few positives about being "mature", or "wise" as some say...

• The fact that I'm getting older is a good thing...it means I'm still aging.
• Even as I'm less confident in superficial areas, I am more confident in areas that actutually matter.
• I care less about pleasing others and now just simply care more for others.
• Although this last 20 pounds is the hardest to lose, I weigh much less at 46 than I did at 36; which means I am healthier...despite the cry of my knees, eyes and mind.
• In a few vulnerable confessions to others my age, I have discovered I am not alone in not  remembering stuff. If I could remember who shared this, I would thank them.
• When I smile, the lines I hate most almost disappear. Not completely, but enough that I smile more.
  
  I've been writing over here:
  God Places Another Soldier in the Prayer Box
  Zach (My 16 Year Old) was a Guest Blogger
  The Power of the Presentation

 

I Wonder What Would Happen If....

...this is the question our church is asking.

In October my brother-in-law was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his pancreas. In December he had major, major surgery. As he and my sister and their kids entered this new place, I knew it would take a lot to get them through this territory, and no one person was going to be able to do it all. Enter the village.

What unfolded over the next several weeks was many, many generous people doing what they could:

• One person said they would care for the dogs;  many hours and sometimes days were spent at the hospital.
• Others picked up the kids to drive them to the hospital to see their dad.
• My mother-in-law sent money to buy my sister lunch at the hospital.
• I created an on-line meal plan with the hopes of providing a month of meals - so many did what they could in this area that filling this schedule was easy and yet provided the very nourishment for the body and soul of my sister's family.
• A friend sat in doctors appointments to take notes while the doctor spoke.
• Our other sister & brother-in-law, who live 1,000 miles away, met the need they could - Jeff flew to town when Tracey returned to work and spent a week providing meals and getting Greg out of the house.
• My brother and sister-in-law took them out for meals, visited and spoke hope into them.
• Many, many people provided financial support.
• Countless people lifted this family in prayers.

My point is this, no one person could have done it all, but together we did it all.

Sometimes as we look around, the need is so great that we can almost feel paralyzed, so we do nothing.  But I wonder what would happen if we were generous with what we have, and simply did what we could?

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is within your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back tomorrow and I will give it to you" - when you already have it with you.   Proverbs 3:27-18

And do not forget to do good and to share with others...   Hebrews 13:16

If you have a story about a time when you experienced generosity, please consider sharing it in the comments so we can all be inspired!

• Click herefor the Sonrise Church 40 Days of Wonder Blog to read more stories!
• Click here to read my husband's post (The Science of Wonder) on that blog.
• Click here to read my post (Being Brave Enough to Fear Not) on that blog.
• Click here to check out Take Them a Meal . Com

Am I Smarter than the Ice-Cream that I Ate Last Year?

Things I have said over the past several months as I get on the scale:

Oh my gosh!    For the love!    What the heck!

Will I ever lose these last 20 lbs?! Over the last twelve years I have lost 50 lbs and maintained that weight loss. Truthfully, I've lost more than that, I've referred to that weight as stupid weight. Weight I gain, lose, gain again, lose again and gain again and lose. I am particularily fond of the 7-10 lb range. Those are especially stupid pounds, I have lost them so many times that seriously, it actually is stupid.

What's left is the smart weight. This is weight that has seen me through 3 pregnancies, a husband who traveled much in our early days, and a few moves. This weight has seen the other weight get lost and so it's hanging on for dear life. Trust me, it seems to be saying, I'm not going anywhere! All 20 of us are here for you! Great. Thanks for that.

Weight Watchers has been a great friend. The Y has been a super partner. Carla, my trainer at the Y is amazing. But none of that seems to be a match for these 20 lbs; this is dedicated weight.

It feels silly that the challenge before me is to be smarter than 20 lbs - but alas that is the challenge before me on this ordinary day.

I've been writing other places ~ Mother of the What?!   &   40DaysofWonder.com
5 New Parenting Responses 
Hanging On So I Can Let Go
Being Brave Enough to Fear Not
A Sober Topic Revisited
7 Life Lessons from a Duck

I Wonder...

Our church is on a 40 day journey. The question we are being asked to ponder is "I wonder what would happen If..." and then fill in the blank. As this question is being answered by pastors, staff and members of our church the answers are being recorded at 40daysofwonder.com.

I filled in the blank, you can read what I wrote here.

 

I Gotta Go....

Yesterday I was talking on my phone  as I ran into the store to grab some bread. There were no lines in one of the check-out lanes, I quickly dropped the bread and looked at the teen cashier as she greeted me. Still on the phone, I said,  "I gotta go, I'll call you back." Click. I quickly hung up on my friend. (Sorry again, Barb.)

I looked at the young casheir and apologized.
She was so gracious, she said "Oh, its Ok."
"N0, its not, its rude."
She smiled.
So I responded with "Ummm...unless you do that. If you do than I just called you rude, and so I'm sorry again."
She said, "No I don't,  but people do it all the time."

This caused me to pause and really look at her. I asked how it made her feel when people continued to talk on their phones during the check-out process. She was so honest - she said it made her feel like apologizing for having to serve them. (!!!) She also said that sometimes people actually roll their eyes if she has to interrupt them to ask for their store discount card; that didn't leave a good feeling either. She went on to say when people continue to talk on their phones it makes cashiers feel as if "We're just cashiers and so we are below them."

Wow. I don't ever want to make anyone feel like that. May I never send that message with my phone...yet if I am honest with myself, I probably have. Ouch.

She also mentioned that cashiers are scored on their interactions with customers and when people are on their phones, it makes it difficult to interact, which brings their scores down. She said that doesn't feel fair because there isnt much they can do about this.

Sometimes I really do not like that we have "evolved" to walking around with cell phones in our pockets. I've said this before, but many times I do wish we could go back to when our phones were attached to the walls....with cords. I believe, without a shadow of a doubt that we made more eye contact, spoke to each other and even just smiled at each other more often. (yes, I l do love that my kids, friends, sisters and the school can get a hold of me anytime, that I can utilize my alone time in the car for conversation...although this also leaves me with little time to just let my mind unwind, take in the view...but more on that at another time.)

I've said it before, I'll say it again, these phones of ours continue to disconnect us just as much as they connect us. Oh, that I would be aware of the power of being disconnected, and the messages I send when I am connected.

I have written previously here and here about cell phones.

Quarterly Meetings

Friendships and scheduled quarterly meetings do not appear to have a natural connection, but I have discovered that quarterly meetings are a perfect way to keep friendships connected.

Many years ago three other women and I became friends through a common group, but today find ourselves not connecting through daily life. Then a few years ago something happened and one of us needed support. The small band was rallied and we gathered again. Several months after that, one of the others contacted the rest and we met again to check in. That day as we were getting ready to part I suggested we meet quarterly and that we take turns being responsible to make that meeting happen. Our quarterly meetings are now on the calendar and its been so refreshing to see these women more consistently.

There is another small group of friends who met regularly several years ago, we called ourselves "The Coffee Chicks". Though close at one time, we have generally lost track of each other. Pamela, one of the Coffee Chicks, was committed to getting us back together and recently made that happen. It was wonderful to catch up with each other and realize we still have friendship between us. After spending an entire afternoon together there was reluctance to part ways - which was when I suggested the quarterly meeting idea! They loved it and Sharon took the lead to plan our next gathering.

I am writing about this because there are many of us who would appreciate and benefit from connecting with certain friends but don't necessarily know how to reach out again, or with our full schedules are not sure how we could maintain another friendship (outside of being Facebook friends). This is why I love the idea of quarterly meetings. Its an intentional but easy way of keeping connections that are personal and allow for a wider community, which is what I love.

If you have a way you connect with friends, please share your ideas through your comments. I love sharing and if there are enough ideas I will put all of them in a future post for all of us to benefit from!

4 Yesterday I wrote A Real Man, you can read it here.

Taking a Break

Today we were discussing our plans for the upcoming Spring Break. Our plan is to have no plans. We are not going anywhere. We traveled over Thanksgiving, we traveled over Christmas. We have been busy with basketball and wrestling, homework, dinners, schedules and life in general.

We would indeed enjoy going someplace very much, but decided this year what we desire even more is to sleep late and generally be lackadaisical.

I loved what Erin said, "Let's just feel the break". Sometimes we  happily and excitedly use our break to travel or to see friends and family. But this year we will use our break to simply feel the break from routines and requirements. I guess we do have a plan after all.

Love is Patient...

Patience is not my virtue. Fortunately for me, I believe my husband was marinated in it the nine months he grew within his mother. I cannot  figure out how else it comes so naturally to him. Tangled necklace? He gently and tediously untangles it. Not ready on time? He casually comes and hangs out in the bedroom or bathroom counter. Cupboards left open, toothpaste cap left off? He will close and cap without a word. Kids who don't understand math, no problem, he will explain it a different way.

I remember when we were living in our first house, while he was at work one day, I decided I really wanted to paint a boarder around the little bathroom in the basement. I was so excited, I bought the paint (there would be deep red and dark green stripe around the middle of of the room) and wanted it done that day...so I did it myself.

I have seen Kevin paint...he washes walls, primes, tapes and measures if necessary, (painting horizontal stripes should have required measuring and taping) he even puts down drop clothes. I had no time for any of this, I just wanted stripes. So I eyeballed the wall, penciled in some stripes and painted. As I stood back to admire my quick handiwork I couldn't believe how crooked my lines were! (Not sure what is more surprising here, that the lines were crooked, or that this surprised me!)

When Kevin came home I was both excited and nervous to show him the bathroom. I don't remember his words, but I remember feeling like it was OK. He displayed patience in the moment, and patience in the long run as he never repainted the walls.

Several years ago Zach wanted his room painted...all stripes. I watched as he patiently measured, marked, taped and painted these walls. Then last year the girls wanted their room repainted. They share a room and each designed what they wanted on their side. Stripes on one, polka dots on the other. Again he patiently measured, marked, taped and painted these walls. He even created the template for the polka dots. This project took some  t i m e.  This past weekend he did it again, Kyler finally got his room painted...what did he want? Stripes.

 

 

 

 

 

For someone like me to be married to someone like him is one of the great life mysteries. Or it is one of God's greatest blessings....for me.
Love is patient. I am loved.
Thank you Kevin. Thank you God, Amen.

A Winter Wonder

Here is one thing I love about snow storms - they draw simple kindness and humanity out of us.

The snow we received last night was several inches, and it was packed, which made it heavy. This morning several of us were out shoveling (us) and snow blowing (others). One neighbor walked over to chat with Kevin and it was determined they would work together with another neighbor to take care of the driveways of the 80 year old widower across the street as well as the single mom a few doors down.

    Dan, one of the guys said to the others, "When you buy a house, this is part of the responsibility." He was referring to the help we are to provide to each other. I love that. This is a good world view and I'm glad he is one of our neighbors.

As I drove to pick up Zach from a friend's house, a woman drove off the road and into massive amounts of snow right behind me. I was hoping after I picked Zach up he could help her. When we got back to where she was, there were four cars pulled over, and four men with shovels were digging her out. It made me smile. (And it may have relived Zach who was in shorts and tennis shoes!)